Actually, Mr. Yuk Is My Enemy

I sent a message to Dr. G and Nurse Shari last night. I'd spent that truly miserable week with nausea and vomiting, though never so bad as when I was on Sutent, and had to finally give up on the sulfa drug rather than spend all my time in bed or the bathroom. Some of the nausea and stomach upset persisted until early Sunday morning, by which time I felt so rotten that I curled up in bed and stayed there quite late. When I got up I was still so woozy that I just couldn't face eating or taking my dose of Votrient, so I didn't take it.

Surprisingly, within a couple of hours my stomach had calmed, and the weird swallowing problem I've had for over a month had gone away. My appetite returned, and I was feeling pretty fabulous for the first time in a long time. It's funny how it's borne in on one, by the absence of symptoms, how quickly one can feel better - the misery becomes a distant memory in no time.

So, I thought I needed some advice from my medical professionals - should we consider lowering the Votrient dose? How much of this could be blamed on the nasty sulfa drug? Was it possible for symptoms to disappear so quickly, or was I just so relieved to feel better that I was hallucinating? Would they condone lowering the dose or would they want me to stick it out until my first scan in June?

I called Nurse Shari in midmorning as I'd not heard from her. Turns out Dr. G isn't due in until later today, but she was able to give me the following tidbits:
- The nausea and vomiting was almost without doubt due to the sulfa drug, as it's notorious for causing severe stomach distress. I should add it to my no-no list and forbid any doctor from giving it to me again (my inclination exactly, and thank goodness there was no hesitation on that decision)
- The remaining symptoms are probably due to the Votrient and she suspects we will reduce the dosage level. All I have to do is wait for Dr. G to arrive and have time to decide course of action with her, and they'll relay to me.

I really enjoy participating to this level in my own care - perhaps it's perverse in some people's view, but good heavens! I feel like I have some control over what's happening. Why persist in misery just because "that's what I was told to do"? That may have been the traditional approach to medical treatment ("Sit quietly and take the nice medicine, that's a good girl!") but I certainly have no use for it.

I am thrilled to report that, after several years, barn swallows have located one of the brackets Saint H placed on the internal fascia of the front porch. They are placing a careful array of mud pellets for a nest, right in view of the living room window. Cola is absolutely fascinated. Our house is becoming a handy roosting spot for the barn swallows; this morning I was serenaded by a throng of them waking up from roosting on the roof. A raucus symphony, indeed, but one of the most welcome sounds I can think of.

Spring Forward

Nothing like having all the signs of spring cram themselves into a couple of days: We have lost nearly all the snow from the fencerows with temperatures in the high 60s for two days. Yesterday the spring peepers burst forth from the frozen mud in the pond, and a red-winged blackbird parked himself on the garden fence and started calling for a mate. Tonight we barely heard woodcocks "peenting" and tumbling over the pasture through the din of the frog chorus. Let's bring on the barn swallows! I'm ready for baseball!

We have "sprung forward" with a decision, so to speak. Saint H and I go to Cleveland on March 24th for a new baseline scan, and I will start on Votrient. This was not an easy decision by any means, and I'll be outlining all the factors we took into account for making the choice over the next few entries. In the meantime, I'm content that we've made the best choice we can, and am ready for the next step.

Brother P is visiting. I'm having a great time cooking for company - so far moussaka and chili have made the list, with corned beef and trimmings planned for Sunday. Steroid therapy ends on the 18th, and with it perhaps my appetite, but it sure has been fun while it lasted. Sister C, I promise to send him back before he explodes!

Digging Out, Redux

Our snow removal buddy JR spent an hour and a half yesterday digging out our lane. I suppose we are lucky; we only got 18" of snow and we didn't have to go anywhere urgently, so it was no big deal that we were snowed in for 3 nights and 2 days. Snow drifted to about 4 feet along the lane and, as the wind had shifted several times, it was thoroughly plugged. JR was here 4 times over the weekend just "keeping ahead" until the wind stopped.

This morning we were treated to a thick coating of hoarfrost, caused when water vapor sublimates on very cold surfaces; e.g., as last night, when heavy fog in the air met the surface of everything exposed to the subzero temperatures we had. It's beautiful and seldom lasts long; we've seen it quite a bit this year. If I could see the northern lights as well this winter I'd be happy!

Not to say that I'm not happy, of course - I am. Things continue well, in my opinion, and we'll head to Cleveland tomorrow for tests on Wednesday to see how things are going. I'm always edgy while waiting for the test results to come back, but have no symptoms to suggest that anything has changed drastically.

Oh - we're due for more snow tomorrow, possibly as much as 6". JR has already agreed to come back on Wednesday before we get home to dig out again, if necessary. We're very glad to know him!

Time Marches On

Yes, I've gotten out of the habit of posting; in part because I'm uncertain how much I can say about the trial. And, I'm afraid, as a creature of habit, going without my laptop for all that time this spring broke my daily routine - I don't check my email daily; I don't read the online newspapers; I don't post to my blogs; I don't read my friends' blogs consistently. I'll try to be better about it ...

Monday's trip to Cleveland, the third treatment in the second cycle, brought an interesting observation. I can't predict how I will react to the Benadryl dose at all! I was deeply asleep moments after the stuff was administered, and stayed deeply asleep for the afternoon; it carried over as aching dopiness into Tuesday afternoon. I really dislike being subjected to that level of disorientation. But, having heard a description of reaction to the trial medication unmitigated by Benadryl, the discomfort is quite bearable by comparison. According to Nurse Vicki, the pre-meds were added to the protocol after several patients experienced wild fluctuations in blood pressure and heart rate, and respiratory distress of a frightening magnitude. She said, "It took two hours each to stabilize the two patients here who suffered from these reactions, and we don't ever want patient and family to have to go through that if we can help it."

I'd love to know more about how health professionals, the companies, the NIH and the FDA negotiate changes to the protocol as a clinical trial progresses. I'll be doing a little poking about; if I can find anything out I'll pass it along.

Shades of the past: We finally got barn swallows to nest in the tractor shed this year. Yesterday the first two of the brood fledged, following their parents to perch on the house gutters while the adults hunted. Last night at dusk Saint H and I were sitting on the front porch glider, watching them dive-bomb outside kitty Jezebel as she came from the barn to join us on the porch. When I was growing up, we always knew when indoor/outdoor cat Denny was coming back to the house by the dive-bombing barn swallows. I've been waiting for a long time to see this again!

Resolving a Morel Dilemma

Saturday evening I was prepping stuff for dinner when Saint H announced, "I think I'll go mow." We'd had 3" of rain in the past couple of days but it had held off most of Saturday, with sun and wind drying things out, and the grass was taking over. So I went on working, keeping an ear cocked for mowing progress, so I could make a stab at getting dinner on the table at a reasonable hour.

No mowing - so I figured he'd had to sharpen a blade, or was cleaning the mower, or had gotten distracted by something else that needed doing (that happens to both of us pretty frequently!) He strolled into the house finally: "I didn't get any mowing done. I went down to check on a sparrow trap, and started clearing up some of the junk that's piled in the corner of the woods. I found these ..." and held out a baseball cap full of morel mushrooms.

Needless to say, the lack of mowing was forgiven immediately! Cooked in a hot cast iron skillet with butter and pepper, they made a great addition to supper. The problem was, there wasn't much left over to share for another meal. I was ready to cede them to him; after all, he did the work to gather them and he cooked them to perfection. But he solved the problem by bringing in another mess tonight. They're cooked and waiting for supper tomorrow! Yum!

Digging Out

Tuesday afternoon Saint H came home sick, staggering with fever, headache and upset stomach. I knew he'd be home for the next day and was grateful that he'd beat the storm predicted for that night and the next day.

Wednesday we got 10" of snow. I called a landscaping contractor to plow us out, as he's done the past two years. Jon got stuck in our lane, not a good sign, but he was able to get us plowed out.

Yesterday I went off to town; the wind shifted while I was gone and I had some trouble getting back to the house. Saint H's doctor called in a prescription for him so I started back to town and got stuck in the lane myself. Saint H came out and we both shoveled, managed to get the car unstuck and backed up the lane to the house for the night.

I called Jon to come back today after the wind shifted - no sense in plowing until then. He's on his way; as soon as he's done we're heading into town to pick up the prescription and a few other things, so we can hunker down for the next storm that's due Monday. I don't know if Saint H will be well enough to go back to work by then or not.

Things were so hectic that I almost forgot about Wednesday's anniversaries - I moved to Ohio 23 years ago, and had my liver resection in five years ago. The move to Ohio was fortuitous on several fronts - I've developed strong friendships and built family relations here; I met Saint H; and I found myself near two wonderful cancer facilities. It was a life-saving move all around.

I guess the snow's a minor inconvenience, all told.

Freeze - Thaw - Repeat

My logon problems appear to have been resolved for the moment (updates downloaded for numerous programs; who knows what happened and who knows when it will strike again). In the meantime we've cycled through some of the coldest weather I've encountered here. One day last week we had the dubious distinction of being the coldest spot in the state according to the National Weather Service, with a -22F air temp and a -37F wind chill. This weekend we soared up past freezing for the first time in nearly 2 weeks and we actually saw the sun! I forget how much I miss the sunshine here, until we enter the next grey winter cycle (Ohio on average gets 30% available sunshine in winter. Ugh) And now, once again, we've settled into temps below freezing for the rest of this week at least.

Cold weather is a conundrum for me. My favorite seasons are autumn and winter. Since my diagnosis and particularly since my liver resection in 2004, however, I have trouble maintaining a reasonable body temperature. If it's just cold, I feel that I can cope with it pretty well by adding layers. If it's both cold and damp, my joints stiffen and swell, I CANNOT get warm, and I feel useless and depressed. Top that off with grey skies and high winds, and I feel like crawling back into bed for six months or so. At least we're nearly through January now.

Saint H has been diagnosed with essential tremor. He's going in for a sleep study to see if his insomnia and fatigue can be resolved, and perhaps (if so) that will reduce the effects of the essential tremor. Right now it's not too bad but we'll have to watch things carefully. I've been panicked by this and he's been very calm. Blessed man.

Usual and Customary

Today's New York Times featured an article I've been waiting to see for a long time. Andrew Cuomo, Attorney General of the State of New York, has ordered UnitedHealth Systems to review its database of "usual and customary fees" covered for non-network charges on health insurance costs. The normal procedure, as we all know, is that in-network physicians and institutions have agreed to accept a certain fee for procedures, tests, and office visits; patients are encouraged to go to in-network resources so that the agreed-upon fees will apply, thus saving the insurance company a great deal of money. If a patient chooses a non-network provider, then the patient is responsible for the difference between what the provider charges and the "usual and customary fee". Cuomo alleges that the UnitedHealth database is consistently low-balling the costs, so that the penalty for using a non-network provider is a great financial burden to the patient. The UnitedHealth database is used by nearly all insurance companies as the basis for these costs. It's an interesting concept and I certainly understand the motivation behind it; the "in-network" relationship works well both for the insurance company and the health service provider.

But what happens when the patient has no choice in the matter? All of the local anaesthesiologists are non-network providers, for example. I paid $800 for the anaesthesiologist attending my nephrectomy - what choice would I have had, between undergoing emergency surgery at another hospital, or not having anaesthesia for the operation? Likewise, my lifeflighted trip from the local hospital to OSU was hardly something I had a choice in; I made it to ICU with literally minutes to spare before dying. Was I to have waited for some other helicopter with medical staff to show up? And who determines a "reasonable" cost for emergency transport under those circumstances - what comparable costs can you call for? That $5300 bill was worth it too, so far as I'm concerned, but it's hard for most people to come up with such a sum on short notice. I still keep a reserve in savings for that reason. Anyway, I'll be interested to see what happens with Cuomo's orders.

For the sixth straight week, Saint H will be spending at least one night in Columbus due to weather. Right now it's snowing (4" on the ground); we're supposed to get another 4" tomorrow followed by blizzard conditions. I may not see him until Friday at this rate. Oh well, I have lots of movies to watch ...

Waiting for the Storm

If you happen to be watching The Weather Channel right now (it's about 7:15 a.m. EDT) you can see a huge swatch of magenta squatting over the upper Midwest. That's the weather system outside my house right now. It's been raining steadily for about an hour and a half; it's cold enough for freezing rain. It's too dark to tell what's happening; Ohio may be a "swing state" when it comes to politics, but when it comes to The Weather Channel we're just a wide spot between interstates and New York and Chicago.

I've got stockpots full of water on the stove and the bathtub is full. I've got bread and milk and cheese in a cooler in the garage, and peanut butter and crackers inside (oh, and chocolate too, but that's always on hand). I've taken a shower. I've pulled out all of the batteries and flashlights and have them sitting out next to candles and matches. I've got blankets and radios close at hand. I dusted off the old phone so that I'll stay connected if the power goes out. (Most people don't know in advance that digital phones don't work then; and it's one reason why we've kept our land line).

There's plenty of cat food and litter, but Jezebel will have to rely on her hunting skills for the moment until I know for sure what's going on out there. My mom lived alone in the country for 16 years after my dad died; one of the reasons she moved to town was because she was afraid to go outside when the weather was bad, for fear she would fall in the driveway and nobody would find her until it was too late. I don't think I'm that nervous - yet - but still don't want to test the limits.

Metaphor for life in general? Waiting for the storm, hoping that we're as prepared as we can be, and hoping that we don't find out we're not ready for it ... who knows, it's too early in the morning to be "deep".

All I lack is Saint H, who stayed in Columbus last night to avoid getting caught out in this stuff. I hope he can get home tonight. In the meantime I'll curl up with cats and knitting and books, and see how long this lasts.

How Low Can It Go?

Oh, I know it can get colder than it is today, and that it will get colder before spring comes again. But there's an Alberta clipper brushing past, weak sunshine, and it feels more like January than November. Jezebel hasn't ventured out of the barn yet today; when I went out to feed her she came stretching out from the straw bale burrow, and looked to be headed back there immmediately after eating. Can't say that I blame her - my taste of "outside" was sufficient for the day.

Last week we went back to Cleveland, and all the results are now in. The radiology reports were mixed again for abdomen and pelvic, and stable for the chest. Dr. G believes that the "mixed" results are from necrosis of tumor tissue, which has a different density than active tumor tissue. There was no overall increase in disease state. I had a slight elevation in liver enzyme levels and my hemoglobin levels were below 11 for the first time in a long time. So we'll be keeping the usual watch on these indicators at OSU for the next couple of months, and I'll go back to Cleveland in another 3 months.

I wonder if my hemoglobin levels will pitch low enough that I'll need Aranesp again, or if we're just at another plateau? This will be the first time the question has come up for me in over a year. I haven't seen much in the news lately on insurance coverage for Aranesp. I don't want to find out that I'm not covered after the fact ... guess I'll get started looking in advance.

Moonlight Serenade

Early this morning I woke with sinus congestion and a slight sense of unease. I headed to the kitchen for water and stopped in my tracks when a chorus of howling set off, seemingly under the kitchen window. Coyotes! Coyotes just outside the house, a blood-curdling reminder of the natural world. Saint H raced to the front door, turned on the outside lights, and stepped out onto the porch to see what was going on. The howling stopped immediately. We've no idea how close they were; I'll check for footprints later since we have a dusting of snow on the ground. Cola, poor child, had never heard them before; she looked even more than usual to be "all eyes and fur" as she ran to the basement.

With friend C's departure on Sunday, the house seems abnormally quiet - not that she was a disruptive presence, mind you. We've had guests off and on for the last 6 weeks and it seems odd not to have someone staying in the upstairs guestroom. I will gradually get used to having the house to myself again, probably just in time for someone else to arrive. Oh well, that's why we wanted extra bedrooms, and I'm glad that we have people who want to visit us.

Silly Season

Gail Collins laments that she's not getting attention from politicians because she's not in a battleground state. Oh, honey, would I trade places with you. We lucky Ohioans have now been subjected to nearly 2 years of ads, phone calls, mailings, leaflets, candidate visits, television coverage, "man-on-the-street" opinion taking, and on and on. I suppose when it all ends next week with the election, it will all start all over again November 6 for 2012. I'm thankful for caller ID - no phone call with "Out of area" gets answered here. And yes, indeed, we get calls all day, every day. I think the amount of money being thrown around here is appalling - what couldn't we do with that baksheesh if it were being applied to social services, or better roads and bridges, or simply giving everyone in town a dinner out? Sheesh.

I think I've finally shaken the cold/flu/sinus stuff - no more cement in my head, hooray, and very little nausea. It's debilitating and it's frustrating to be laid so low by something so simple. Do we count it a pleasure just to be alive so that we can fall ill to such unpleasantness? I can certainly say I've considered the alternative and found it lacking but jeez, it would be nice to go a month without having something minor turn into something major. Oh well, better to be recovering than not.

My friend C arrives sometime today for a couple of weeks. Let's hope her winter coat that was left behind on her travels appears here before too many days go by - we had a dusting of snow on Monday, not enough to consider a "snowfall" but enough to show up on the newly worked ground in the next field. The old wives' tale about number of snows corresponding to date of first measurable snowfall makes me hope we get it over with early in November or early in December. Brrrrr!!!!

Lake Wobegon Days

"It's been a quiet week here ..." - or multiple quiet weeks, rather. We keep waiting for the rain that's been promised and seems imminent, but so far have garnered only a little over an inch from all those hurricanes and fronts moving through. Given that my brother and sister both have had multiple rains with multiple inches involved during the same time period, I can't help but feel a little left out. We did escape the effects of Hurricane Ike's winds that devastated other parts of central Ohio and I'm grateful for that.

I'm beginning to see the familiar and detested signs of hand/foot rising again for the first time in months: little tingles in my feet; shiny, blasted-looking patches of skin on my thumb and great toe; itchy spots on my hands. A week's vacation from Nexavar will be beneficial; I'm just not sure when to start. It's a fine balance to strike - not to let it go too long, as the resulting sores on my great toe take a relatively long time to heal up, yet not stopping the dose too soon or too long, should anything else arise. I'm not good at second-guessing myself so will check with Dr. G.

Our favorite contractor Jerry has been working on the barn. We now have a storage area, and have installed vents, windows and translucent roof panels to lighten up the interior. The last tasks are addition of guttering and a tank for water collection; I've plans to get some solar-powered lights for the interior, and then we should just have to add horses and stir. Sounds good to me.

Thanks, Bro

Two summers ago my brother and sister-in-law came to visit. He brought me a surprise, a copper trellis he'd made himself (who knew?) The trellis sits this year at the north end of the porch distracting our view from the railings-from-hell that won't take a paint finish. Our hummingbird feeder hangs from the porch soffit just above it. And this year's crop of hummers have decided that the trellis is the perfect place to rest between feedings. It's a great view out of the dining room window, for sure.

Yesterday we decided to start putting together a commercial hoop shelter for all the farm equipment. Some starts and stops (I read instructions, he doesn't; and sometimes the instructions aren't very helpful and/or are downright misleading); then we got to the part that said "Lean the end rail against something permanent, such as a fence or tree, that is close to where the building will go." Friends, we have no fences. We have no trees. We finally pulled up the old S-10 pickup and used that to "lean" against. Himself is going off to Menard's tonight to buy an articulated ladder so we can get the cover on when the structure is done. Friend and sister C2 said, "Why doesn't he just stop by on the way home from work and get mine?" But who am I to stand between him and ladder lust?

All I know is, kneeling and bending to bolt together all those pieces of tubular steel made me feel every minute of my age, and maybe even older than that. It's a different type of ache than the usual - there's a mild glow of satisfaction to it, that at least I did something to get this way ...

We're In Our "Hayday"

Last week I saw Dr. SC for the usual blood tests and office visit. There has been little to talk about at these sessions lately; my test results have been stable and we've had no reason to consider making changes to any meds or routines. At Dr. G's and Dr. MC's request we added complete thyroid tests, still trying to determine what caused my bloating/discomfort/fatigue in spring. The tests indicate an elevated T4 level (12.8; normal is 4.5 to 11.2). So now I'm a bit confused: I'm being treated for hypothyroidism, yet the elevated T4 may indicate hyperthyroidism. Oh well, that's why they're doctors and I'm not - I'll let them figure it out. I'm sure the topic will come up at the next scheduled appointment with Dr. G.

We literally sweated out our first partial crop of hay last Saturday. The weather cooperated beautifully: long, cool, wet spring and early summer resulting in lush growth, followed by a clear string of 4 hot, dry days. The dry spell coincided with a friend's availability both for equipment and expertise, so after a day of mowing and a day of raking, he and Saint H brought in our first half-crop of bales with 4 hours of concerted labor on Saturday. I kept busy supplying the drinks and food. The bales smell fabulously green and sweet, a treat I've yet to tire of. While the baler was making its last round we scared up a fawn that had bedded down in the north edge of the pasture. We'll be leaving a strip unmowed so that the deer continue to have some cover. With luck and continued good weather we'll be able to get the rest of the hay in this week.

I'm playing with a new camera, a Canon Powershot SD1000 Digital Elph. I'm quite pleased with the images I'm getting - the camera makes me look like I know what I'm doing! I "captured" this dragonfly resting on the sweet flag we planted at the edge of our pond. Male common whitetail, anyone?

I'm So Stimulated

Gosh, what did you buy with your economic stimulus check? We came up with all sorts of plans for ours: fencing, gates, plants, tires, toilets - you name it, it probably made our list at one point or another. But I guess I'd say part of it, at least, is in my mouth as I write this. I spent two hours in the dentist's chair on Thursday and now have two temporary crowns in place. The real crowns, along with the final bill, come week after next. I think that appointment will only be an hour, oh boy.

Why is it that, when one is provided with unexpected cash, one ends up spending it? We had really intended to put the check in the bank (so we could pay it out again next year, most likely). And why is it that, once the check arrives, one manages to spend more than its face value?

In the end perhaps some other stash of money in savings will represent the "economic stimulus" sum. Needless to say we'll be spending more money regardless.

We went to the basement yesterday afternoon, when this parked itself over our house and the tornado sirens started going off. Fortunately it all blew over, leaving behind only an inch of rain or so, but it was scary while it lasted. I've always enjoyed thunderstorms - used to sit on the front porch swing in the midst of duck-drowners as a kid - but am terrified of tornadoes. These clouds were boiling and rotating. The urge to be outside, though, was almost overpowering. Yeah, I know it's not smart to stand outside taking pictures of storm clouds, but the skies were mesmerizing. We had to force ourselves to go inside.

Slow down!

I've been volunteering with a local adult education program for about 18 months now. We just finished our spring offering of classes, we've sent the fall brochure text off to be prepped for printing, and we're starting to plan next spring's classes.

I can come up with lots of ideas for classes; that's one of the benefits of volunteering, as things I want to learn about are included in the program. I also get a chance to teach knitting classes (thereby exposing more people to my mania).

I'm pleased by the program's success and I'm glad that I can contribute to it without jeopardizing my health. But sometimes it seems like it's become a year-round task; I'm glad that we're taking the month of July "off" from official duties.

Saint H and I celebrated Memorial Day by going out for a drive to the western part of the county. There's a sizeable Amish community out there, so there are lots of hayfields and pastures. Where there are pastures, there are grassland birds and, if the pastures are large enough, there might be bobolinks. We did, indeed, spot a few in one pasture where we've seen them for over a decade now. What a comfort that they come back!

Get Hep

I've been watching the unfolding drama: tainted drug supplies, multiple deaths, international fingerpointing, lax inspection. At the very least the furor over Heparin manufacture in the last few months has outlined a disturbing trend. Heparin is a life-saving drug that figures into treatments for dialysis (and, like me, for patients with Mediports) every day. If something is that vital to survival for people whose health is already compromised, why isn't more done to control its manufacture and its safety? I must say that finding out where Heparin comes from, pig intestines, isn't disturbing in any way to me; lots of valuable medicines come from animals. Finding out how Heparin is processed, again, might not be of concern; good for those enterprising Chinese families who make the effort to provide the raw material. Finding out that the supply chain is so limited gives one pause - why do we have only two manufacturers in this country? Finding out how few checks and balances are in place is frightening. Finding out how little the FDA can do to perform the necessary inspections is infuriating. I think it will be interesting to see what happens next.

Yesterday Saint H and I put up the martin gourds for this season; keep your fingers crossed that this will be the year for our colony to start. We have 16 tree swallow eggs and 4 bluebird eggs in the nest boxes here. We walked through the woods, finding blue and yellow violets, May apples, Solomon seal, and bellflowers (as well as poison ivy, Virginia creeper, and garlic mustard). Much to my surprise, about 50 trees have survived years of standing water in the south field - they're not big, but they look pretty robust. I wish I had the stamina and determination that plants show!

From Beyond The Grave

No, not my own! I've been quiet recently as not much has been happening, other than the arrival - at last - of spring. We're hosting several pairs of tree swallows and a pair of bluebirds, plus have recently been seeing flickers in the yard below the feeders (get those ants! Get 'em! Get 'em!)

I'm writing in complete and utter frustration. It seems that my ex-husband, who committed suicide last fall, left behind more than sadness and regret. He also left behind unpaid debts. I'm now getting calls from collection agencies, eager to locate "beneficiaries." First, we separated acrimoniously in 1983. Do the math, that's twenty-five years ago. Second, we divorced in 1984. That's twenty-four years ago. Apart from an unpleasant post card I received shortly after we separated (he was sniping about some stuff he'd left behind when he moved out, like that was my fault) I hadn't exchanged a word with him since October, 1983. I heard about his death through friends of my brother's; I lost track of his family years ago.

I realize the economy is bad and debt collection is on the upswing; some of these companies are absolutely ruthless, from what I've heard. I can only guess that they've tried - and failed - to recover money from his widowed, invalid mother and his brother and sister. They'd best not think they can come after me. Give me a break.

Just when I thought the bastard was safely in his grave, he still has the power to make everyone associated with him miserable. I only hope that I can get these jerks off my tail.

A Boy and His Cat

Well, we must be heading into spring at last. The snow is nearly melted, though we have a lake in the pasture for the moment. The bluebirds are courting, so Saint H spent this morning cleaning out the nest boxes. Jezebel merrily accompanied him on his rounds, making sure that he got everything done. I guess since we don't have a dog yet, she's happy to stand in. Next weekend we'll probably put the martin gourds back up - here's hoping this is the year they decide to move in.

Tomorrow I will call Dr. SC's office to schedule a C/T scan and a bone scan, on Dr. G's recommendation. I've been having intermittent twinges under the right side of my ribcage, rather like muscle spasms. These were occurring only when I bent into certain positions (putting on shoes, for one); in the past couple of weeks it's been a more general ache. When I finally made it to my appointment with Dr. SC last week, I mentioned this; his nurse suggested I might have a hernia along the track of the abscess that developed after my liver resection. Dr. G decided that I should have it checked out now, even though I'm due to see him in a couple of weeks. It's not terrible and it's probably nothing to worry about, but I'd much rather know what's going on than not. Oh well, I've already met my deductible for the year ...