Lucky Me

Koppel on Discovery: "Living with Cancer" aired last night. I didn't quite make it through all 3 hours, but it was engrossing, touching, and stimulating. One part of the discussion struck me in particular: What do we want from our doctors? And I've been trying to define that for myself for some time. So, what do I want from my doctors?

I want Truth.
I want Optimism.
I want Hope.
I want Compassion.
I want Humor.
I want Honesty.
I want Ingtegrity.
I want Humanity.

Of all these, I suppose "Hope" is the hardest to define. Hope cannot be blind; hope cannot be false. Hope must be tempered with Realism, steeped in Fact, drawn by Opportunity paired with Luck.

I have never been led to false hope by my oncologists; in all cases, I think they have welcomed a patient willing to explore and learn and grapple with the complexities of modern medicine. My desire to know what I'm dealing with has given them rein to share their knowledge and their expectations honestly.

I feel privileged to work with my primary care physician. His sister's husband has renal cell carcinoma, and so I suspect his interest in my case carries more personal connotations. But beyond that he has never brushed off questions; he has never taken anything for granted; he has always been ready to discuss my options, and has always accepted me - and my oncologists - as partners in my care.

I feel privileged to work with my oncologists. They have never treated me as a statistic or a "case study" (even when I've been involved in clinical trials). They see me as a person and not a disease.

So, what *do* I want from my doctors? I think I want exactly what I'm getting.

I feel so fortunate. I know that my symptoms/side effects are minor and controllable. I know that I have relatively little active disease. I know that I have access to some of the finest medical facilities in the country - perhaps the world. I know that I have the best chance of survival possible.

As was discussed last night - so many of us are lucky: we have access to good medical care; we have good doctors; we have the most advanced medicines available. Add to that my friends, family and above all my dearest love, and I count myself the luckiest person on the face of the earth.